Mx Wolfie (they/them) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wolfpurplemoon) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
childfree2017-08-10 02:13 am
wolfpurplemoon) wrote in childfree2017-08-10 02:13 am
What to Say When People Ask Why You Aren’t Having Children
Nothing could have prepared me for the invasiveness I face about my fertility plans as a married woman in my late 30s.
What was once an occasional topic of conversation five years ago when I first dated Mike, now my husband, has become a full-blown speculative crisis since we tied the knot in April.
I understand the concern. In our youth, many of us were taught, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage.” There’s no asterisk after the ditty clarifying “these milestones might never be accomplished in this order, or at all.”
Well-meaning relatives touch my arm and ask when we’ll start a family. I bristle at the suggestion, as if me, my sweet fella and our delightful cat aren’t already a complete family. Their faces drop when I break the news that we plan to be child-free.
Read more
What was once an occasional topic of conversation five years ago when I first dated Mike, now my husband, has become a full-blown speculative crisis since we tied the knot in April.
I understand the concern. In our youth, many of us were taught, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage.” There’s no asterisk after the ditty clarifying “these milestones might never be accomplished in this order, or at all.”
Well-meaning relatives touch my arm and ask when we’ll start a family. I bristle at the suggestion, as if me, my sweet fella and our delightful cat aren’t already a complete family. Their faces drop when I break the news that we plan to be child-free.
Read more
no subject
I'm waiting for bingos to start rolling in now that my partner and I are officially engaged and discussing buying a house in the next 5 years.
Hate to break it to ya folks, the cats ARE your grandkids.
no subject
no subject
no subject
I like that the writer included this. I think sometimes we confuse "what if" with regret--that if we're wondering what might have been we secretly wish we'd done something different. But really,the path not taken could have been better or worse.
When people ask if I'll worry I'll "regret" not having kids, well, I'll never know what it would have been like, so how could I? Should I ask if they might someday regret having them? Whatever we choose, now and again we'll wonder "what if." It's a thought experiment and nothing more.
no subject