Welcome to Childfree!

[wolfpurplemoon]

Introduce yourself here - I'm a 32 year old British cis woman in a long term relationship and am steadfastly childfree and have no plans to ever change my mind on that!

I'd love to see posts about your experiences as a childfree person, how you deal with the inevitable bingoes (especially if you are married/in a LTR) and any rants and raves you have about negotiating a world that seems to worship pregnancy and parenthood. Hey even let us know all the fun things you get up to that you couldn't manage with a kid or two in tow!

One thing I ask though is no slurs against people who have children or against the children themselves, there are some especially nasty stuff slung at parents, especially mothers and we'll have none of that sort of misogyny (and sometimes racism tbh) here.

Childfree Survey

[wolfpurplemoon]

Answer as many Qs as you wish in the comments :)

Do you dislike children?

Why did you opt out of parenthood?

Do you think your childhood experiences and/or your parents actions influenced your decision?

What is the most common reaction/comment you get when people find out you’re Child-Free?

Do you have any Child-free friends or relatives?

Do you think people are aware that parenthood is a choice?

How do you feel/react when your loved ones announce they’re expecting?

What is the most ridiculous Bingo you’ve ever received?

Are you worried you might one day regret your decision?

(For women) Don’t you want to experience being pregnant?

Is your current partner Childfree as well?

Is it possible to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship without children?

Define parenthood in one word

Do you think you would be a good parent? Why/Why Not?

Do you have pets? Do you think you transfer the nurturing and love intended for a child unto your pet(s)?

Which Child-free stereotype do you not fit?

Is it hard to find a Child-free partner?

Which label do you prefer? Child-Free or Childless?

Do you actively encourage the people around you to think about their reproductive CHOICES?

Are you worried about who will take care of you when you’re old?

What is the best part about being Child-Free?

I just had to save this!

[wolfpurplemoon]

Over on Imzy's Let's Grab Coffee community, they once hosted a discussion about being childfree and the intro that pipsy wrote for us is just wonderful:

Have you ever been at a family gathering - say, at Christmas, New Year or Thanksgiving - and the first thing someone does when they come up to you is ask you how your love life is going? How about asking you when you’re thinking about having kids? What would happen - what happens - when you say you don’t actually want any?

Do you feel uncomfortable now that your friends are starting to do the whole reproducing thing, and their conversations, once vibrant, are now only about their tot(s)? Do you feel sad that these friends have all turned into some other zombie mum-person or dad-person, sleep-deprived and moneyless, completely different from the person you used to know? Do you ever feel as though this is about the furthest thing from happiness you could imagine?

Or how about those people who insist that “Oh, you’ll change your mind one day. Just wait until you get a bit older.” - how badly do you want to sock them in the chin? (Don’t do it friend, violence gets you into trouble!)

How about medically? Do you need to stay childfree for (physical, mental) health reasons? Are you in a country where you feel your right to safe contraceptive measures are being eroded or denied? Childfree people in deeply Catholic countries, or in the US, are you doing okay?

…And what about that taboo, the parent who really rather wishes they had never had kids? Parenting is hard at times, and nobody is going to argue otherwise. We know you’re there, and it’s not at all unreasonable to feel like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew at times.

And with a million questions, we begin.

Welcome to the LGC Hosts a Post /childfree edition!

Both myself and @childfree are collaborating to bring you the chance to discuss the childfree lifestyle in today’s post. Please remember, this is a respectful space for all parties, and aggressive language is not encouraged! But we absolutely do welcome the chance to discuss fears and irritations, as well as share stories about your troubles, wherever you may be. Go anon if that’s what works best for you. <3

This was my own introduction to the topic (that sadly didn't get much interest!)

Hi, I'm @childfree the leader of /childfree - I'll be commenting as anon as I haven't joined LGC under this handle :)

Thanks to @Pipsy for the wonderful introduction to this topic, I thought I'd also write a little introduction to me and why I'm childfree.

I'm a cis woman in my early 30s and like most people I just assumed for most of my life that getting married and having children was just going to be an inevitable event even though it wasn't something I was particularly looking for.

I have been in a serious relationship since my mid twenties, and as it was my first proper relationship for the first time I had discussions with someone I loved about having children.

It was then I realised that it really wasn't something I could see myself going through, pregnancy itself seemed like a huge and dangerous undertaking, and then actually taking care of a baby/child for at least 18 years - my partner and I agreed we were both happy not going down that route.

I then became more aware of the childfree community online, and the struggles of various people trying to get sterilisation operations in order to stay childfree.

I'm lucky being in the UK when it comes to family planning and contraception, contraceptives and birth control pills/IUDs etc are all free on the NHS, and abortion is also legal and free once you get approved. Though sterilisation is much harder to obtain for people with ovaries than for people with testes as in most countries - once you've convinced enough doctors you can get the operation done on the NHS as well.

I'll be around for a while so comment if you have any questions or anything you'd like to share about this topic and me and hopefully some other members of /childfree will join in the discussion also.

I'm an Ob/Gyn and I Never, Ever Want to Be Pregnant

[wolfpurplemoon]

Pregnancy is a miserable experience. At least that’s what some pregnant people tell me. Most of them are my patients. I'm an ob/gyn and a specialist in reproductive health, so I know quite a bit about why pregnancy is terrible. I, fortunately, have never had to suffer through being pregnant (thanks, Planned Parenthood!). Nope, I do not want to give birth. Ever.

The fact that there are people willing to vomit every morning for months on end, deal with hemorrhoids from weeks of constipation, and a myriad of other illness-esque experiences amazes me every time I see them for their prenatal visits.

I couldn't possibly explain why someone would do it, so I asked one of my patients, who was so grateful for the care I gave her during her pregnancies that she was willing to write a few words for me. (read more)