Welcome to Childfree!

[wolfpurplemoon]

Introduce yourself here - I'm a 32 year old British cis woman in a long term relationship and am steadfastly childfree and have no plans to ever change my mind on that!

I'd love to see posts about your experiences as a childfree person, how you deal with the inevitable bingoes (especially if you are married/in a LTR) and any rants and raves you have about negotiating a world that seems to worship pregnancy and parenthood. Hey even let us know all the fun things you get up to that you couldn't manage with a kid or two in tow!

One thing I ask though is no slurs against people who have children or against the children themselves, there are some especially nasty stuff slung at parents, especially mothers and we'll have none of that sort of misogyny (and sometimes racism tbh) here.

Comments

[norfolkian]

Hi there! I'm glad to be here and will write a proper post soon. But just wanted to say I'm so glad to have found a community of childfree people, but that doesn't criticise people who do have children. Let's celebrate/discuss our lifestyle without being dicks about how other people choose to live their lives.

[wolfpurplemoon]

Hi, welcome!

Yeah I've seen and heard so many horrible things from childfree people about children and their parents, especially on the site beginning with r, and it's really not necessary at all and gives childfree people a bad name!

[norfolkian]

I'm also British, by the way, and 33 and married. The badgering about when I was going to have kids was worse after we just got married (5 years ago), but has largely settled down now. I have also got better at shutting conversations down if I don't want to have them. I find giving a confident "no" to being asked if I have children with no follow up explanation usually works in not being asked any further questions. In the past I used to answer less confidently and that used to lead to lots and lots of questions and comments, which used to bug the hell out of me. Needless to say, my husband rarely gets asked whether he has or is intending to have children. :/

[wolfpurplemoon]

Gosh we are collecting early 30s British people here!

Yeah there is definitely a double standard when it comes to asking if someone is having kids - and I totally agree that being more confident about your own childfree feelings definitely helps with dealing with the intrusive questions.

[angelbabe_cj]

Hi I'm a British 30 y/o woman (the cis bit is more questionable). I'm perpetually single (although that's more circumstantial than by choice) but have no plans to have children if I do get into a LTR.

I like children and even volunteer with them, but I have no desire to have any of my own. I'm fond of being able to give them back at the end of the day/week/whatever period. Also pregnancy sounds so not fun.

[wolfpurplemoon]

Hey there, nice to meet you!

Do you find you get a lot of people questioning your choice as you work with children?

I agree that kids you can hand back are the best kind!

[angelbabe_cj]

I'm not hugely vocal IRL about being childfree, but I've been pretty lucky with those I've told. I've definitely had a few surprised faces/comments, but nothing I can recall in the questioning/denial range.

That said I've not told my family, and they can be very traditional in their views, so I'm pretty sure they think at some point I'm going to up and find a man to marry and provide them with at least one grandchild/[insert other appropriate name for my offspring here]. In reality it's possible none of those things will be true.

What I tend to find irritating at the moment is the automatic assumption that I want children. Or in one special case, that I already have children.

[wolfpurplemoon]

Yeah it is irritating that people assume we all obviously want/have kids!

[kitcatwoman]

Hi everyone. I'm in my early thirties and I'm from the US. I'm currently single and I have no desire to have children. Growing up, I liked the idea of children, but by the time I was in my late teen/early twenties I realized it just wasn't going to happen. I just don't have the patience for them. Like someone else already said, it's nice to be able to give them back at the end of the day.

When I tell people I don't want kids I get the usual "Oh, how come?" But for the most part, people have been pretty cool with it.

anyway, it's nice to meet you all. :)

[wolfpurplemoon]

Hey welcome, everyone's early 30s here :D

Yeah I definitely changed my mind over time, or at least when I truly thought about whether I wanted kids I realised that the answer was no and I had just been assuming that because "everyone" has kids then I would probably do that too.

hello everybody!

[ex_hellrider602]

Hy there, have just moved to DW and really glad to see that I am not the only one who has no plans about becoming a parent.
To give a brief ego trip: cis, hetero, Ace of Hearts, in my late thirties (at least this is what my official documents say; I still am as immature as a normal 12-year-old), living in a fulfilling relationship.

I am okay with others having kids, far from being a hater, it is just not for me.


The fun things I can do: sleeping, having quality time with my love, having quality me-time, practising on the guitar anytime. (There are probably more than that, people who have kids might notice certain things that are completely natural for me but impossible for them...)

Re: hello everybody!

[wolfpurplemoon]

Welcome!

Re: hello everybody!

[ex_hellrider602]

:)

[rebecca_selene]

Hi! I'm nearly 30 and in the US, living with my childfree SO. I had a tubal last year, but the hoops I had to go through to convince my doctor I didn't want kids and the temporary birth control I had to take for 5 years to do so have left me with possibly permanent abdominal issues and a terrible view of gynecological care (for the record, I saw multiple doctors/nurses and got bingos from all of them).

It's great to find a community of people I can relate to.